Things Your Wife Won’t Say

Things Your Wife Won’t Say:

The smell of beer on your breath drives me wild.

I’m bored. Let’s shave the privates.

I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

Let’s get a good romantic movie, a case of beer, and make an afternoon of it.

God, if I don’t blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust!

I only signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head.

Let’s subscribe to Hustler.

Let’s take pictures so your friends will believe you.

Honey, our neighbor’s daughter is sunbathing again. Come see!

Awesome fart! Do another one!