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One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom
making love to a very attractive young woman.
Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried.
“How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children!
I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!”
The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”
“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
So the husband began, “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.
She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night.
The ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that,
I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
I found the sassy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her
and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued,
“She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door,
she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…”
“Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
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