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Ben asks his new girlfriend for a HJ

Ben asks his new girlfriend for a HJ.

“Ive never done that” she says, “what do I do ?”

“Well” replies Ben, “remember when you were a kid and you’d shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it … that’s what you do.”

She nods, so he pulls his manhood out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it.

A minute later, he has tears running down his face, snot flowing from his nose and wax flying from his ears.

She asks ‘Whats wrong ?’

Ben cries “TAKE YOUR F*****KING THUMB OFF THE END!”

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A drunk man walks into his house

How much money would you have?